Three party politics

You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Democrat’s Answer

Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think? What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his
hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on , could my family get away
while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1 ?

Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a
happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing!

I need to discuss with some friends over a latte and try to come to a
consensus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Republican’s Answer:

BANG!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Redneck’s Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click….
(sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: “Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips
or Hollow Points?”

Son: “You got him, Pop! Can I shoot the next one?”

Wife: “You are not taking that to the taxidermist.”

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Three party politics

  1. Fellow redneck! says:

    TJ,

    The redneck would use a sawed-off shotgun..probably hand built… with reloaded shells carrying an extra load…just in case. The terrorist would be dumped in the back of a hugh pickup truck that was adorned with rebel flags.
    The heck with the taxidermist..dinner served with possum and taters.

    You are from Arkansas. You should know that! LOL

  2. Dude, that is awesome!!
    I gotta git me a gun…I just found out that out here (charlotte, nc) and can walk around town with a gun in a dang ‘ol holster anywhere I want!!

    I’m doin’ it…
    mark jr.

  3. Aaron says:

    ABSOLUTELY RIGHT! That is the COOLEST thing in the world!!!! AMEN!

  4. Adam Smith says:

    That is the funniest thing I have read today! How can I say that? As Jeff Foxworthy says, you can only talk about rednecks if you are one… and as much as I try not to be at times, it all comes back to the fact that I are one 🙂

Comments are closed.

The Pastor's Desk

A Pastor's thoughts on life, church, God, & other stuff

social networking ate my blog

or probably I'm just making excuses

Discipleship Avenue

Discipleship Avenue exists to Educate, Equip, and Empower our communities by providing strategic services and resources that meet their needs.

A journal of my faith, family and life

EdStetzer.com

Ed Stetzer writes and speaks on theology, missiology, church planting, church revitalization, and church innovation.

Notes from the Trail

Life, adventure and faith from southwest Virginia

Soul Health Care

Proclaiming Christ as the Great Physician of the Soul

%d bloggers like this: