Let’s face it, reality TV has changed television as we know it.  The interaction has been attractive to many.  TLC is a channel my wife and I have loved since we got cable for the first time.  I remember watching “Trauma, Life in the ER” and wilfully grossing ourselves out as they displayed people’s real-live mangled guts.  Over the years, TLC has gone from displaying mangled guts, to shows like “A Baby Story”, “A Wedding Story”,  “Man vs Wild” (or is it Survivorman? I keep getting the shows on Discovery mixed with TLC).

In recent years (for obvious reasons being a family of multiples, thankfully not on their scale), the new favorite in the Scott house has become “Jon & Kate Plus Eight”.  In so many ways Jon and Kate remind us of ourselves, we see their sextauplets and twins going through stages we identify with.  We see Jon and Kate going through things we identify with (me being the fun-loving, wrestle in the floor, make messes with the kids dad, and Melissa being the “sensible” one trying to bring chaos to order).

Like so many viewers of the program, Melissa and I sat on the verge of tears as we saw the season premiere that revealed the mangle guts of the unraveling of this beautiful couple and family.  We wanted to jump in the car and go help them somehow (we could have led a caravan of people, I’m sure).  I refuse to believe tabloids and gossip regarding the reasons for their unraveling.  I prefer to look to what the Gosselin’s are saying on their program and compare that to where Melissa and I have been, and pray that they can correct their course before it’s too late (their children are still young, so it’s not too late).

If Jon and Kate were reading this, I would have some sound advice for them.  In fact, this is sound advice for ANY couple, famous or not – multiples or not.  My wife and I don’t know it all.  We don’t have cameras in our faces.  We don’t have paparazzi chasing our kids around (I’d pity the fool who did chase them around).  We haven’t walked in their shoes in that arena.  We HAVE walked in the shoes that parents of multiples are tempted to walk in, that can lead to the demise of a marriage that already has the odds against it.

1. According to Scripture, a man is the head of his household as Christ is the head of the church – he MUST GIVE HIS LIFE for his wife (meaning a husband can’t just be “himself” anymore)…  You want your wife to submit to your leadership.  There is nothing wrong with that.  What’s important is submission = getting under the mission.   Melissa (my wife) is a strong-willed, ambitious woman.  I applaud this, however her will and ambition was interpreted by me as just that when she followed her desires to be a businesswoman (nothing wrong with that in itself).  So I thought the best thing for the kids and for her was for me to stay home, take care of the kids, and do some sort of business from home.  What I REALLY did was became the most unreasonable guy on the planet to live with.  I was miserable, my wife was miserable, and she easily could have left me.  Enter a mission – I prayed and asked God to lead me to lead this family.  I DIED to my personal desires and became “Mr Scott,” the man who has no identity outside of the head of the Scott household. We now have a mission in our lives, and my strong-willed wife (who Kate reminds me so much of on the show) is my greatest supporter.
2. Enough is enough.  Any activity that causes a member of the family to not want to be a part of that family is expendable.  Sue me!  If I’m signed to a contract like the Gosselin’s, and I’ll lose everything if I breach it – so what?  My family was here before a contract, and my family will be here after we destroy it.  There is nothing on this planet more important than God and the greatest gift He’s given me – my family.   If I could tell Jon and Kate ONE thing – it would be: “walk away from it all, and focus on your family.  We’d much rather see you 10 years from now on a reuinion episode together than see your family come apart and your children’s hearts broken on reality TV.”

Multiples are stressful.  I can really only speak for ourselves and share what has helped us so far.  Having triplets, I can still yet only imagine what families with 4, 5, 6, even 8 go through.  We have a strong dependence on the Lord Jesus Christ.  Without Him we know we would fail, because He is what keeps us balanced, His Word is what keeps our minds renewed to what is right.  Also, Melissa and I have come into this knowing that each other aren’t the problem in tough times, but with God’s help, we are the solution.   We have given ourselves only ONE option in bad times – pull our children and each other close, handle the situation and go through whatever comes our way together.  It gives great freedom when you don’t give yourselves to option to quit.  The worry about what one another is going to do with the relationship isn’t there. It’s not that we take our relationship for granted, it’s what we expect of ourselves and each other.

I didn’t choose to father 3 kids at one time, much like I don’t choose to grow older.  I have no choice in the matter except to choose to be the best father and husband my family could ever have.  Men – be men and make hard choices to do what is right.

Our hearts go out to the Gosselin family and are prayers go up for them.  To everyone out there struggling in their marriage – never give up, never give in, you’re in this for the long-haul.  Seek the face of God, and find yourselves someone you can trust who can help you fix it, who won’t let you give up.

Let’s put it in this perspective:

• There are 168 hours every week
• 24 of those hours can be not counted for a sabbath
• leaving 144 hours in a working week
• 96 hours per week if you remove an average of 8 hours per day for sleep (not counting the sabbath b/c we counted 24 hours there)
• 9.6 hours if I were to work for the Lord 10% of my awake time, leaving 86.4 hours
• I make a living with an average of 45 hours/week
• I have 41.4 hours every week for everything else.

This actually worries me, because sometimes I wonder if I give God that much time each week outside church services. What scares me MORE is the question of “what am I doing with the other 41.4 hours of my week?”

How about you?

Do you know your place?  Are you secure enough being what others may think of as miniscule?

Eph 4:10-13 (the Message)

He handed out gifts above and below, filled heaven with his gifts, filled earth with his gifts. He handed out gifts of apostle, prophet, evangelist, and pastor-teacher to train Christ’s followers in skilled servant work, working within Christ’s body, the church, until we’re all moving rhythmically and easily with each other, efficient and graceful in response to God’s Son, fully mature adults, fully developed within and without, fully alive like Christ.

While attending a conference, I had a very uncomfortable question asked of me in the presence of my pastor, a fellow elder from my church, another pastor, and an elder from his church.  I have had this asked of me before, and I have always been equally uncomfortable with it:

“Are you going to pastor a church of your own?”

I never know how to properly answer this question, but now with all ears listening I had to come up with something fast.  I responded a generic, “I don’t believe the time is now to pursue this, and I’m going nowhere unless this man (pointing at my pastor) says ‘go’” and the subject was then changed.

I know the gentleman who was asking meant well, but it revealed (to me) the mentality that is prevalent among the body that needs to be corrected.

This is why we have so many apostles, pastors, evangelists, prophets, and teachers who are ineffective in what they do – and are actually hurting more than they are helping.  People called to these positions can be supportive of another ministry gift and be MORE effective than they are on their own.  An evangelist can still be submitted to a local church without having his own name on his ministry.  A prophet can prophesy under the covering of a local church.  A pastor (shepherd) doesn’t have to be the guy in charge of the church.  I could go on, but I think you know where I’m going.

There is a pastor that is known worldwide.  Everyone would know who he is if I told you his name.  He has a man serving as an elder in his church who has been faithfully serving next to him for 26 years.  This elder could successfully pastor a church of 1,000 or larger with little effort.  However, he refuses to do this because he is in his place.  As a result of him being in his place, his pastor can preach world-wide, write books, raise up other ministers, and do all the things he does AND this church of almost 10,000 members is cared for. Although he gets little public credit here on earth for what success he brings to his pastor and church, he will see in Heaven how immeasurable the success his servant hood and obedience brought.

If you are serving in a position that God through His man has placed you into – it is a DEMOTION to do anything else.   I know many pastors who were great youth leaders, but are horrible pastors.  Not only are they horrible pastors, but the youth group they once led is in shambles being led now by people who had 1/4 the passion he had.   If teenagers are souls, how can it be looked at as a lesser position in the overall scope of things just because you answer to a pastor?  OH, maybe it’s because so many in ministry feel they are too spiritual to walk under authority?

We need to have it in our heads that it’s not important what title or position we hold.  It’s most important that we are holding our posts in the place God has for us.  My church and my pastor cannot be successful if I’m not in my place.   This is how we have to think.

Ministry is not about you climbing the ladder of success – it’s about souls and equipping saints.

This past month has been the most transforming in my adult life. Seriously, I don’t think puberty affected me as much as what God has been doing. Maybe one day I can tell it all in much more detail, but for now – I know I’ve heard from God.

ORDER: The entire time of the 21-day media fast, there was deep revelation of the Presence of God. It wasn’t in the way I expected it however. Hebrews 12:6 declares who the Lord loves, he also brings discipline. To bring discipline, you have to show where one has gone wrong. In many areas of my life, I’ve seen so much that has been out of order, which revealed to me what has kept God’s blessing off those areas. I have been seeing lack of order in my home, at work, and in the ministry I serve in. However, it has me fired up to get the house in order in those key areas of my life.

We have been organizing our home, throwing stuff away and cleaning junk out of the church, and getting things organized at work with utmost urgency. I have felt in my spirit a resounding word: “how dare you ask Me (God speaking) for anything when you aren’t a good steward of what I’ve already given you”. Ouch.

PREPARE: The other revelation was confirmed by a man who hardly knows me. I haven’t spoken to him in months, but when he shared what the Lord had revealed to him about what I’m being groomed for and the testing that must take place, I knew he had heard from God. Many people who were there that night heard only understood the end result of what Melissa and I were being groomed for and congratulated us. However, they missed the part where we are about to go through testing and trial. I’m not fearful of this, however you have to stop and smell the roses when you are given the advice by a man of God to “read the book of Job when you go through this.” The Lord has been preparing you, me and everyone who is serving Him for doing something great for Him.

This morning, Pastor preached on having your desires linked to God’s purpose. God’s not interested in a Mercedes to only benefit you. However, if you have a heart to reach people whose attention will be gained and you’ll have a voice in their lives if you have a Mercedes – He’ll give you that TOOL to fulfill His Divine purpose for the Kingdom through you.

So, I’m anticipating 2009 to be a year that will bring some pain, and rejoicing at the same time. It is a year of transition and we are all going to new levels for God’s purpose!